What's With the Attacks on the Tolerant!

It's a question us tolerant All-Americans have been asking since 1999: What is with the attacks on the tolerant! If you grew up like me you would know what I was talking about. Before I begin I will describe myself, I am a tolerant, white, highly educated, heterosexual democrat. During my years I have contributed money and time to the fights against racism, sexism, poverty, disability, etc. I have worked to get qualified minority candidates elected to public office. I have worked to get tolerant qualified white people like myself elected to public office. I have had Republican friends who were more economically conservative than myself, but just as tolerant. I have worked to defend the constitution of the United States of America, as well as the Constitution of the State of Ohio. Nevertheless, I have found myself subjected to ridiculous criticism and frame jobs...attempts to portray me as gay, obversely as a homophobe, bigot or bleeding heart. My critics have twisted the facts so asidously so as to be guilty of slander, libel, and invasion of privacy. They have tried to play me for a sucker, baiting me constantly into putting my foot in my mouth...Know why, I am a tolerant mainstream All-American. People have sicked bigots of all races, creeds, and colors on me, tampered with my written works and musical compositions all in a vain attempt to discredit me and all mainstream tolerant white democrats. They have even tried to drive me into the arms of enemies of the constitution and champions of bigotry and white supremacy. Why, in order to discredit the rainbow coalition, tolerance, and mainstream tolerant white All-Americans. Don't fall for it America, the country is becoming more tolerant and egalitarian every day...America is the greatest melting pot of talent in the world...celebrate that.

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans

All-Americans versus Crooks

All-Americans believe in our fundamental traditions: Life, Liberty, and Property for themselves and other people. Some Un-Americans believe in something else: Life, Liberty, and Property for themselves and no one else. Sometimes they call them crooks.

That is why we keep asking: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

Indie Music is too Good?! Huh?!

Recently I read an article talking about how people were increasingly turning to Indie music because of dissatisfaction with mainstream pop music. The article implied that the recording industry felt threatened because of the improvements in the quality of indie music. You see improvements in technology have made it possible to make a pretty good album on the cheap with either a home studio or at a local studio. But then the specter of the New Age struck...CYBER SABOTAGE! What am I talking about you might wonder. Well it goes like this so pay attention kiddies....It is relatively easy to sabotage an indie recording with so-called Mr. Microphone Technology, or by adding additional tracks, or (by the new enemy) voice replication technology. Now anyone who has been in the studio or recorded at home knows that it is a very simple procedure to add additional tracks to a song. Many studios have as many as 64 tracks and thus it is very easy to sabotage an indie album by simply adding on tracks which make the song sound stupid. Plus there is what I call MR. MICROPHONE technology as well. Us old people all remember the old commercials....A guy is holding a microphone which interfaces with a car radio...as the car drives by he yells into the mic "Hey Baby, I'll be back to pick you up later!" and it comes in over the car radio and freaks the chick out who is driving the car. They can do that to indie albums as well...even while you are recording! Plus there is the voice replication stuff that they talk about in the trade magazines as well....That can also mess up an indie album! I can just hear them now "Hey, I didn't sing that!" What are these things...yep, you guessed it...DIGITAL TYPOS--just like real typos at the printing press...and they can do that too (like on your lyric sheets)! Why would anyone do this you ask? Because people feel threatened and don't want the competition. Music is an industry where money is made, and where there is industry there is industrial sabotage. Now we All-Americans love music-- listening, playing, and recording....It is a manifestation of freedom of speech (that is unless they change our words).


And that is Y we keep asking: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

When Did Everyone Turn Into Peeping Toms and Gladys Kravitz's?!!

It's a question we All-Americans have been asking for some time. When did everyone turn into peeping Tom's and Gladys Kravitz's? It used to be that a peeping-Tom was considered a perv but it seems now that perv is IN and minding your own business is OUT! Whatever happened to the right to privacy? That's why they put locks on the bathroom door! It used to be that in the TV Show "Bewitched," Gladys Kravitz was a creepy, peeping-Tom no-good neighbor who just couldn't mind her own business. Viewers detested her and her irritating snooping ways. Now it seems that snooping is in and the right to arbitrary search and seizure OUT. The funny thing about it is that the professional comedians go right along with it, defending the government's and private dipsh*t's rights to stick their nose in where it don't belong. What has happened to America? I'd say it was like 1984, but the reality is that it is "1984-The Wacky Version!" full of gross privacy-invading jokes, idiotic double speak, and sick anecdotes. Totalitarianism--Comedy Central Style! And boy it sure is fun---NOT! Quit invading our privacy Hollywood and government. A while back I sued the government for invading my privacy--and of course I didn't win--I guess you can't fight city hall after all! The good news is that my lawyer became a state senator and later an attorney general! That is until professional comedians started ragging on us clandestinely and not so clandestinely for defending our rights. It wouldn't surprise me if they stole my All-American jokes and used them against me!

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

Why Does "Ben Folds Five" Suck So Bad?!

It's a question us All-Americans keep asking...Why does "Ben Fold's Five" suck so bad? You know why? They are losers with no taste who sound like a bad version of Weird Al Yankovic. (Yeah I know you got Bill Shatner and Weird All on your albums but only because they too are owned by corporations and Hollywood). Overpaid rip-off artists making fun of suburban garage bands....how hack! How are your corporate masters doing a**holes? Well at least Ben admits in his song "I'm Rockin the Suburbs" that he is a no talent loser. Give your MTV bozo friends my best you corporate sell-outs! You see kiddies most people don't know this, but I have appeared on 23 indie albums and have more albums then that shitty fake Yakovic-band! Plus my vocals are good and their's are overproduced studio sh*t (Even if they were produced in their home studio!). Don't let them fool you, they produced their albums in the studio just like everyone else. So why do sh*tty bands like that make fun of the All-American middle class....I'll tell you, because the super-rich corporate bozos who control the music industry and Hollywood like to hire a**holes who make fun of talented middle-class All-Americans. Know why, to keep super-talented Ph.D.s like myself from taking over and running them outta business. That's why they hire dumb a**holes to blame the suburbs instead of the super-rich Hollywood hacks who control technology, publishing houses, and corporations and put out such stupid hack sh*t...big fat greedy corporations that hold back talented people. Guess what, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson and the like have big fat overpaid producers and often times studio musicians! Not to mention overdubs and as many as 64 tracks to work with. And their albums cost as much as $12 million bucks to produce, whereas indie music is often produced on shoestring budgets. So "Ben F*cks Five" we middle class indie artists have news for you, "F*ck off!"

And that's why we keep asking the question: Y R people messing with All-Americans!

Realists Protecting Idealists

One day I was sitting around and contemplating the "Real" World and what it was all about...It was then that I came up with the twin concepts of "Realists protecting Idealists," and "Realists hating Idealists (and vice versa)." Now Humanitarian Idealism is pretty simple, if everyone stopped killing and torturing one another then we would be forced to all "deal with each other." The only problem with this idealism is that it takes cooperation from everyone, or nearly everyone. Now idealism is admirable because it is to some extent the truth, but difficult to put into practice. As a result, over time, many idealists after being confronted by realists WHO HATE IDEALISTS, are forced into a position of pragmatism. People won't stop killing each other, so they say I have to be pragmatic and realistic and protect myself. I know the truth, but it is not practicable because it requires cooperation on a grand scale. Now these realists who were formerly idealists know the truth, if we all stopped killing then there would be peace--but people won't, so being realists we need to protect ourselves and advocate self-defense (even national defense). But being idealists turned realists, the new realists decide that we need to protect and preserve the idealists because they know the fundamental truth about HUMAN cooperation. Thus there is the creation of the phenomena "Realists protecting Idealists." We realists defend the country, family, and friends who are idealists and let them be idealists. Now we know as idealists, then will probably hate us for being such realists (about self-defense), but that is because they are idealists like we used to be, so we kinda understand. Some will get to live long lives as idealists and never have to become realists, while other's will give up their idealism in order to protect idealists. Now some realists don't like idealist and want to get rid of them, but that is because they don't understand the wisdom of idealism. But other realists who were former idealists do, and that is why we (idealists turned realists) protect idealists. Now mind you some people are fake idealists, like foreign spies and the like. They want us all to become peacnicks so we don't defend ourselves or the country when militaristic people and countries invade, but us idealists turned realists believe in self-defense and so we fight back, all the while trying to protect our greatest and wisest resource, the idealists. In this way Americans are different from other nations that seek to persecute and destroy its peace-loving idealists. A lot of us All-American realists love peace too, but being realists we know it is hard to make it practicable.

And that is why we keep asking ourselves the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans

Y R People Messing with American Culture?

I have been asking myself this question for a long time. Why are people messing with American culture. We All-Americans know that America is a melting pot. Growing up I had friends from all walks of life, white, African-American, women, gay people, Indians, Latinos, Italians, Jews, country people, city-slickers, etc. Our great cultural achievements come from our diversity, people from all different lands living together largely in harmony. I know there were problems with poverty, racism, and sexism, gay-bashing, etc. but a decent person could get by here and do well for themselves without setting off a New Age Civil War.

But then came the 21st century, and OH WELL, BAM! Evil Sh*T in our faces all over again. GET OUTTA MY FACE SATAN! In the late 20th century, during what I call the inter-war years, post Vietnam to the War on Terror, ME AND MY FRIENDS all got along. We listened to the greatest tunes of all time, rock, pop, jazz, Motown, country, soul, blues....a lot of songs mostly about making it in America and making love, and having fun. We had a social conscience too. Since the War on Terror things have changed, and sometimes it seems like everyone is channelling Satan. The love songs are screwed up, but people don't seem to care. The culture tampered with...do people still like baseball?! I can't tell. Don't people date and get married anymore. Why is everyone corrupting our "good" traditions and championing our "bad" habits. I can't figure it out....When did the Devil come out of his grave to try and take over America, the land of rock-n-roll, fertility, and true love. I say we say, BAH to Satan and send him back to Hell where he belongs! We All-Americans want romance and true love back.

And that is why we keep saying, Y R People Messing With All-Americans!