Why Does "Ben Folds Five" Suck So Bad?!

It's a question us All-Americans keep asking...Why does "Ben Fold's Five" suck so bad? You know why? They are losers with no taste who sound like a bad version of Weird Al Yankovic. (Yeah I know you got Bill Shatner and Weird All on your albums but only because they too are owned by corporations and Hollywood). Overpaid rip-off artists making fun of suburban garage bands....how hack! How are your corporate masters doing a**holes? Well at least Ben admits in his song "I'm Rockin the Suburbs" that he is a no talent loser. Give your MTV bozo friends my best you corporate sell-outs! You see kiddies most people don't know this, but I have appeared on 23 indie albums and have more albums then that shitty fake Yakovic-band! Plus my vocals are good and their's are overproduced studio sh*t (Even if they were produced in their home studio!). Don't let them fool you, they produced their albums in the studio just like everyone else. So why do sh*tty bands like that make fun of the All-American middle class....I'll tell you, because the super-rich corporate bozos who control the music industry and Hollywood like to hire a**holes who make fun of talented middle-class All-Americans. Know why, to keep super-talented Ph.D.s like myself from taking over and running them outta business. That's why they hire dumb a**holes to blame the suburbs instead of the super-rich Hollywood hacks who control technology, publishing houses, and corporations and put out such stupid hack sh*t...big fat greedy corporations that hold back talented people. Guess what, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson and the like have big fat overpaid producers and often times studio musicians! Not to mention overdubs and as many as 64 tracks to work with. And their albums cost as much as $12 million bucks to produce, whereas indie music is often produced on shoestring budgets. So "Ben F*cks Five" we middle class indie artists have news for you, "F*ck off!"

And that's why we keep asking the question: Y R people messing with All-Americans!