What I Really Stand For...

People are probably wondering by now what I really stand for. Its plain and simple, and despite some minor periods of "demonic possession" and childhood antics, here it is.

1) End to Racism
2) Civil Rights for All Americans
3) Life, Liberty, and Property
4) The Rights Contained in the US Constitution: Freedom of Speech, Press, Assembly, Religion with in limits
5) End to Slander and Libel
6) Equality of Opportunity
7) Right to Pursue Happiness
8) Love--the most important
9) Helping the elderly, poor, and sick
10) Defeating authoritarianism
11) End to Sexism
12) Human Rights in General

I do the best I can, take it or leave it.

Bye All

Y R People Messing with the Natural Order?

It's a question us regular people have been asking ourselves since the dawn of the the 21st Century....Y R People Messing with the Natural Order? Biologists who study society and culture know what I am talking about. Most people in America are heterosexual. They mate just like other mammals and procreate. It's true people in America have sex for fun to, but the main purpose as Freud put it, is to make babies. In civilization, most people with children are married or were married, though many children are also born out of wedlock. Since the dawn of the late 20th Century, organizations like Planned Parenthood have been trying to get people to plan the parenting process. But there are those in society who are opposed to this principle and like to mock people who seek to be responsible in their sexual habits (sometimes calling them "gay"). Many cling to ideas such as people should not have sex out of wedlock, an idea that is so out of sinqe with the times that is positively retrograde. Rather than promote responsible sexual conduct (such as the use of condoms and the like) they want to return to an earlier Victorian period where sex out of wedlock was banned. Well, call me crazy but I think chastity belts are a thing of the past. Plus there are those who also want to turn the clock back to a period of gay bashing. Now mind you, most people in America are straight, and might even find gay sex a little weird, but that doesn't make them bigots who approve of gay bashing. Biologists know that there always seems to be a small percentage of the population that is either sterile or gay. But let's face the facts, most males and females mate with members of the opposite sex. I did, most everybody I know did. And the main reason, you ask, because we ultimately wanted to have a family like ones we were leaving at 18. Now some of my friends are again single or divorced, but that didn't mean that we didn't want to stay with our mates---we did. Being a mainly one woman man, I found being single at 42 somewhat ackward and difficult. I don't have any kids because I exercised birth control, a decision I might ultimately regret, but I am happy that I was responsible in my sexual habits and didn't go around dropping babies all over God's creation. Still lately there seems to be an attack on the responsible sexual habits of myself and other Generation X-ers. It seems that today there are an awful lot of attacks on those of us who are again single in our forties. Now biologists know that any male the age of 42 is not only old enough to be a father but a grandfather. Oh I know Steve Colbert and Jon Stewart look like father's with their dyed hair and school-boy antics, but they too are Gen X-ers and old enough to be grampa too....and so is the president. You see kiddies biologists and psychoanalysts know that most people can make a baby at 14 years old, no matter what the US government says. Just cause Uncle Sam says 18 is the legal age of adulthood, doesn't mean that you can't make a baby before that. And in the natural God-given order that means that you are also old enough to take care of them....Hey if the squirrels in the yard can do it, so can people. Now legal ages for adulthood alter this a bit and complicate things, and largely because they mess with the natural order of things. Now I personally like the fact that the legal age for adulthood is 18, but that is only because I am civilized; if I had lived in the jungles of the Amazon, I would have probably been a father at 15, in which I would be bordering on great grampa by now. Just because we live in a geriatric society doesn't mean that 70 year olds are gramma, they aren't, they are great, great, great gramma. And you know old people, they live in the past. Now me personally, I was with a woman for 14 years, and haven't been on the dating scene since the late 1980s, so I am a little rusty on how to meet women, and I don't trust Internet dating either. (Just a little note kiddies, that doesn't make me "gay," just a single "grampa.") And there are a lot of us out there. So for all you dumbasses out there who think single people in their 40s are gay...GROW UP! Quit attacking people who believe in true love and exercise responsible sexuality like civilized people. We were once like you , you know, looking for love and trying to found our families too. Quit attacking responsible people (democrats or republicans) who believe in the concept of family. AND QUIT DYING YOUR HAIR STEVEN COLBERT, WE KNOW YOU ARE IN YOUR FORTIES LIKE US GRAMPA!

That is why we keep asking ourselves, Y R People Messing with the Natural Order?

Eric Forman: Today's Tom Sawyer

Back in the day when we were in English class we used to read these things called books. I know that sounds strange to kids of today, but it was required by law that we go to school, and that included English class. Back then we read authors like Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens really) and books about protypical American boys like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. At the time , we thought it was just a story like the one's we told our friends and didn't really think about it in terms of reputation and money. At the same time we watched other All -American guys on TV, like little Opie from the Andy Griffith Show and Richie Cunningham from Happy Days. We figured that was TV's version of the 50's and 60's Tom Sawyer. Back then we didn't realize it but, as it turned out, we were the Eric Forman's of the late 70's and early 80's. Mind you we watched TV every Tuesday wondering what Richie and Fonzie would be up to this week (provided it wasn't a re-run), just like kids today watch Everybody Hates Chris or re-runs of "That 70's Show." It is true, that we knew that we were kinda the Richie Cunningham's of the 70's and 80's but we figured that was as American as Apple Pie. Little did we know what challenges would face "Apple Pie" in the future. Now remember kids, Hollywood is a money-making industry focused on profit, if it sells they keep it on and they make money. The same was true for Mark Twain, who profited more from the stories about Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn than the real Tow Sawyer's probably ever did. Heck, they even gave Twain an honorary doctorate. It seems that in America if you write about the Tom Sawyer's, Richie Cunnignham's, and Eric Forman's of America, then you get all the honors, and usually, all the dough. Same goes for the actor's that play them. Now us real Tom Sawyer's , Richie Cunningham's, and Eric Forman's are still out there, but now we are all grown up, but, with an economy in shambles,we are struggling and are left wondering, does America still like us? And if so why not? All of those shows were hits and made dough for Hollywood, but a broken economy and lingering world conflicts, have left the real Tom's and Richie's and Eric's out in the cold. This is despite all our education and achievements (I personally have a Ph.D.). So the next time, you find yourself worshipping Mark Twain, Topher Grace, Ron Howard, or some other rich guy for playing a or writing about a character in Hollywood, remember that they wouldn't be able to make all that money if we weren't out there living our lives every single day of the week. Maybe instead of worshipping the Hollywood millionaires, you should show a little respect to the real Richie's, Tom's, Huck's, and Eric's of the world...You never know, they might just live next door and be in their 40's by now.

And that is why we keep asking, Y R People Messing with All Americans?

Spirituality to All Americans

I know what you are thinking, what does this site have to do with spirituality? Isn't it a satirical rant against all that is absurd? Yes, sometimes it is, but us All Americans know when to be serious too. Speaking as a person who has had a number of close scrapes with death, back in 1999, and again in 2001, I know the meaning of spirituality. I know people scoff at "near death" experiences, and frankly so did I, until it happened to me. I know what you are thinking, I saw "Ghost" with Whoopi Goldberg, I thought it was all fiction, and at the time I thought the same thing....though I did like the movie (well at least at the time). But it seems that near death experiences might actually be real. I had one...now mind you I don't know if it was real or I was just outta it like Abbott and Costello when they were in the desert, but it did change my perspective on God and Jesus a bit. Now I'm a Christian and you know what they say, when you are about to go to Heaven you see Jesus. Of course people like Freud, say that is all bunk and being a Freudian in my youth, I believed him, but then again, Freud was never on the operating table at a hospital like I was. Without bullsh*ting you I will say that being near death does change your perspective. After my near death experience I decided to try to, as Spike Lee says it, "Do the Right Thing." I fought for civil rights, contributed money to charities, published books, and produced albums at my own personal expense. I shared my creations with the world, and they are substantial (25 albums--more than Elvis, 3 books, 4 chapter length articles, and 3 portfolios of original artwork). Now mind you this is more than I ever thought I would be able to do when I was a kid of 14, so naturally I am very proud. Likewise, I gave up the greedy pursuit of monetary wealth. Now mind you I know All Americans are hard working people and deserve to get paid, but if my near death experience taught me anything it is that a person's value can not be measured in monetary wealth alone. I mean really, when I was growing up we reveled in the fact that Bruce Jenner won the decathalon and the US Hockey team beat the Russians, and none of them got paid for it. So when you think that wealth means everything, remember me....I have a PH.D., 3 books, four chapter articles, 25 albums, and some of the best friends this world has ever seen.

That is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All Americans

Homophobia: The Curse of the New Age

It seems that since the dawn of the 21st Century, homophobia and homophobic comedians have become the order of the day. In my humble opinion, there hasn't been this much gay-bashing in the media since the 1980's. If I hear one more joke about San Francisco I think I will puke. First it was Adam Sandler with his gay-bashing homophobe movie and then Jon Stewart and his masterbation humor. It is interesting how dear old Jon has changed his tune. Back in the the liberal Clintonian 90's he was talking about his masterbatory tendencies on his Comedy Central specials, only to turn around in the 21st Century and start a whole new gay bashing revolution. Jon, you make me sick. For those of us who have had Gay friends, we are grossly offended by your bigotry. Don't you remember Jon, and Ellen for that matter, that the Nazis put so called "f*gs" in the ovens with the Jews! Oh, I know Jon that you have Anglicized your real name from Liebowitz to Stewart so that people wouldn't know that you were Jewish, but lets face it Jon, if you lived in Nazi Germany they would have fried you like a fried green potato, despite your fake name. So get with the program comedians, it is the 21st Century not the 1800s and your f*g jokes are rapidly going out of style. Same goes for you, politicians who all seem to think that you are living in England 200 years ago, and can use your freedom of speech to slander people.

Formerly Happy Americans Speak Out!

Back in 2007 I tried to start a blog on the issue of happiness since I had experienced great happiness in my youth, but it didn't go anywhere so I have added it to my new blog. The following is the text from my former site:


This site deals with the issue of happiness, how to get it and hope to keep it.


Entry for December 1, 2007 The 29 Axioms
After uncovering the 5 Core Needs, and the 9 Primary Needs for happiness, I did a personal inventory of things I had or had done in order to be happy in civilization. After much contemplation, I came up with 29 things which had affected my personal happiness. I turned these things into a list of sayings or axioms which I then labeled the Wellsian Philosophy. The truth was that when all of these things applied to me, I was happy. Interestingly, most of them applied to my closest allies and friends as well, all of whom at the time seemed relatively content.



The 29 Axioms of Happiness in Civilization



1. May you have good physical health



2. May you have good mental health



3. May your basic needs be met



4. May you have good food and drink



5. May you have strong shelter from the elements



6. May your home be warm in the winter and cool in the summer



7. May you have a place to clean yourself and be sanitary



8. May you get good sleep and rest



9. May you have a family that loves you



10. May you have good friends and strong allies



11. Take up a hobby, it can be a lot of fun



12. Enjoy entertainment like plays, films, music, sporting events, games, etc.



13. Participate in sports if you are able, and if not try to get some exercise



14. Don't be afraid of study and learning, learn as much as you can and enjoy it for its own sake



15. Make Love/Find a Good Lover



16. If you have to work, try and find a good job that you enjoy doing



17. If you have to work, try and find at least a decent paying job so your basic needs are met, and there is at least a little money left over for pleasurable activities



18. Engage in some pleasurable activities, it will keep you motivated



19. Try to have a little disposable income utilized solely for pleasurable activities



20. Try not to make enemies



21. May any enemies you do have not be major ones



22. May no one in your family or any of your friends die



23. May no major illnesses affect your family or your friends



24. If you get the chance, travel or go on vacation while you are healthy



25. Try to have a good sense of humor, and try not to take everything personally



26. Defend yourself if attacked wantonly



27. Don't be afraid to turn the other cheek occasionally



28. Try to forgive people (especially family and friends) for their trespasses



29. Don't break the big ones.



When all of these applied to me, I was happy, of that I was sure. True some of them were luxuries, but the reality was all of these things were possible for me so I took advantage of the opportunities for happiness as they came. While it might seem that I have done a lot of pleasurable things in my 41 years of life, the truth is that I didn't let these things detract me from my goals of getting a Ph.D., being a universtiy lecturer, and published author. Rewards are a great motivator, a much better motivator than sticks.



I hope this blog has been of use to those in the pursuit of happiness. The Bill of Rights says we have a right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. It is because of things like the Bill of Rights that I was able to actively pursue happiness in American civilization.



Good Luck to All,



Dr. Matthew C. Wells





2007-12-01 18:59:27

Entry for December 1, 2007 The Nine Primary Needs
When I left off, I was talking about the 5 Core Needs for happiness. Now I know people don't like to admit it, but we are basically animals with desires, needs and drives. So, it appears, were my pets. Animals have a lot in common with people but let's admit it, people are a more complex robot. It was true that when my 5 core needs were met I was happy, but let's face it, life in civilization is much more complicated. We live in a money economy and we have to pay cold hard cash for most of the things we need and desire. What I realized was that the 5 core needs were just the tip of the iceberg. It was then that I came up with "The Nine Primary Needs for the Creation of Happiness in Civilization." They go like this:



1. Good Physical Health



2. Good Mental Health



3. A Good Family Life/Caregivers Growing Up



4. Basic Needs Met (Food, Drink, Clothing, Shelter, Bathroom)



5. Good Friends



6. Some Disposable Income (For Pleasurable Activities)



7. When an Adult Having a Good Lover/Mate



8. Some Amount of Education (Reading, Writiing, Arithmatic, etc.)



9. No Major Enemies



In a state of nature, it seems possible that the 5 Core Needs can be met, but with the creation of civilization, things get a little more complicated. Hopefully, for most people it is complicated in a good way. It is civiliation that provides people with a variety of pleasures not readily available in a state of nature (such as Music, Plays, Films, Sports, Alcohol, Academics, Varieties of Food and Drinks, Marriage, Homes, Driving, Shopping, etc.).



I noticed that when the 9 Primary Needs applied to me I was very happy. While I was not independently wealthy or anything, and had been going to school or working jobs since the age of 9, as long as my efforts resulted in the realization of the 9 Primary Needs I was relatively content. I wasn't a millionaire or anything but I was satisfied, even light-hearted and fun. Let's face it life wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn good.



I knew now that the loss of some of these things was making me unhappy and that I needed to try to get back what I had lost.



To be continued....

2007-12-01 18:24:35 GMT

Entry for December 1, 2007
Hello everyone out there, my name is Dr. Matthew Wells. I have a Ph.D. and have taught at two major US universities, and am a published author. I decided to start this blog because I had entered a period of illness in my life which led to a period of unhappiness. This prolonged period was unusual for me because most of my life had been relatively happy and content. In an attempt to get back to being happy I decided to examine the first 33 years of my life to determine why I had been so happy and to, if possible, find a way to restore that happiness.



One of the first things I did was to think of my old pets. Animals sometimes have an unrecognized wisdom. I had dogs and cats and they seemed pretty content with their lives. Why? It was at this point that I came up with the concept of the "Five Core Needs of Happiness." They go like this:



1. They all had good physical health



2. They all had good mental health



3. Their basic needs were met (eg., food, drink, shelter, place to go to the bathroom)



4. They engaged in some pleasurable activities (eg., going outside, walks, playing, hunting, etc., mating, petting and love from their owner)



5. They had no major enemies



It was then that I realized what it meant to be "King of the Jungle." A contented lion living in a state of nature has all these things, with the possible exception of having an owner. Interestingly enough, I noted that when I had these things as well, I was relatively happy and content. I also noted that when some of these things were taken away from me, my level of contentment fell.



But in examining this issue, I realized that there were a number of basic realities that I was failing to take into account. For one, I didn't live in the jungle. In the jungle, nearly every predator is an enemy, so it seemed to me to be happy in the jungle with major enemies lurking everywhere was at least difficult. And then I realized, that this was why civilization was created, that is, to ensure the continued existence of the five core needs of happiness. While it is true that good physical and mental health are a gift of nature, civilization often provides greater opportunities for the fulfillment of basic needs, pleasurable activities, and the minimization of enemies/rivals.



To be continued....


That is Y we keep asking ourselves: Y R People Messing with happy Americans?

What's With the Attacks on the Tolerant!

It's a question us tolerant All-Americans have been asking since 1999: What is with the attacks on the tolerant! If you grew up like me you would know what I was talking about. Before I begin I will describe myself, I am a tolerant, white, highly educated, heterosexual democrat. During my years I have contributed money and time to the fights against racism, sexism, poverty, disability, etc. I have worked to get qualified minority candidates elected to public office. I have worked to get tolerant qualified white people like myself elected to public office. I have had Republican friends who were more economically conservative than myself, but just as tolerant. I have worked to defend the constitution of the United States of America, as well as the Constitution of the State of Ohio. Nevertheless, I have found myself subjected to ridiculous criticism and frame jobs...attempts to portray me as gay, obversely as a homophobe, bigot or bleeding heart. My critics have twisted the facts so asidously so as to be guilty of slander, libel, and invasion of privacy. They have tried to play me for a sucker, baiting me constantly into putting my foot in my mouth...Know why, I am a tolerant mainstream All-American. People have sicked bigots of all races, creeds, and colors on me, tampered with my written works and musical compositions all in a vain attempt to discredit me and all mainstream tolerant white democrats. They have even tried to drive me into the arms of enemies of the constitution and champions of bigotry and white supremacy. Why, in order to discredit the rainbow coalition, tolerance, and mainstream tolerant white All-Americans. Don't fall for it America, the country is becoming more tolerant and egalitarian every day...America is the greatest melting pot of talent in the world...celebrate that.

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans

All-Americans versus Crooks

All-Americans believe in our fundamental traditions: Life, Liberty, and Property for themselves and other people. Some Un-Americans believe in something else: Life, Liberty, and Property for themselves and no one else. Sometimes they call them crooks.

That is why we keep asking: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

Indie Music is too Good?! Huh?!

Recently I read an article talking about how people were increasingly turning to Indie music because of dissatisfaction with mainstream pop music. The article implied that the recording industry felt threatened because of the improvements in the quality of indie music. You see improvements in technology have made it possible to make a pretty good album on the cheap with either a home studio or at a local studio. But then the specter of the New Age struck...CYBER SABOTAGE! What am I talking about you might wonder. Well it goes like this so pay attention kiddies....It is relatively easy to sabotage an indie recording with so-called Mr. Microphone Technology, or by adding additional tracks, or (by the new enemy) voice replication technology. Now anyone who has been in the studio or recorded at home knows that it is a very simple procedure to add additional tracks to a song. Many studios have as many as 64 tracks and thus it is very easy to sabotage an indie album by simply adding on tracks which make the song sound stupid. Plus there is what I call MR. MICROPHONE technology as well. Us old people all remember the old commercials....A guy is holding a microphone which interfaces with a car radio...as the car drives by he yells into the mic "Hey Baby, I'll be back to pick you up later!" and it comes in over the car radio and freaks the chick out who is driving the car. They can do that to indie albums as well...even while you are recording! Plus there is the voice replication stuff that they talk about in the trade magazines as well....That can also mess up an indie album! I can just hear them now "Hey, I didn't sing that!" What are these things...yep, you guessed it...DIGITAL TYPOS--just like real typos at the printing press...and they can do that too (like on your lyric sheets)! Why would anyone do this you ask? Because people feel threatened and don't want the competition. Music is an industry where money is made, and where there is industry there is industrial sabotage. Now we All-Americans love music-- listening, playing, and recording....It is a manifestation of freedom of speech (that is unless they change our words).


And that is Y we keep asking: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

When Did Everyone Turn Into Peeping Toms and Gladys Kravitz's?!!

It's a question we All-Americans have been asking for some time. When did everyone turn into peeping Tom's and Gladys Kravitz's? It used to be that a peeping-Tom was considered a perv but it seems now that perv is IN and minding your own business is OUT! Whatever happened to the right to privacy? That's why they put locks on the bathroom door! It used to be that in the TV Show "Bewitched," Gladys Kravitz was a creepy, peeping-Tom no-good neighbor who just couldn't mind her own business. Viewers detested her and her irritating snooping ways. Now it seems that snooping is in and the right to arbitrary search and seizure OUT. The funny thing about it is that the professional comedians go right along with it, defending the government's and private dipsh*t's rights to stick their nose in where it don't belong. What has happened to America? I'd say it was like 1984, but the reality is that it is "1984-The Wacky Version!" full of gross privacy-invading jokes, idiotic double speak, and sick anecdotes. Totalitarianism--Comedy Central Style! And boy it sure is fun---NOT! Quit invading our privacy Hollywood and government. A while back I sued the government for invading my privacy--and of course I didn't win--I guess you can't fight city hall after all! The good news is that my lawyer became a state senator and later an attorney general! That is until professional comedians started ragging on us clandestinely and not so clandestinely for defending our rights. It wouldn't surprise me if they stole my All-American jokes and used them against me!

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

Why Does "Ben Folds Five" Suck So Bad?!

It's a question us All-Americans keep asking...Why does "Ben Fold's Five" suck so bad? You know why? They are losers with no taste who sound like a bad version of Weird Al Yankovic. (Yeah I know you got Bill Shatner and Weird All on your albums but only because they too are owned by corporations and Hollywood). Overpaid rip-off artists making fun of suburban garage bands....how hack! How are your corporate masters doing a**holes? Well at least Ben admits in his song "I'm Rockin the Suburbs" that he is a no talent loser. Give your MTV bozo friends my best you corporate sell-outs! You see kiddies most people don't know this, but I have appeared on 23 indie albums and have more albums then that shitty fake Yakovic-band! Plus my vocals are good and their's are overproduced studio sh*t (Even if they were produced in their home studio!). Don't let them fool you, they produced their albums in the studio just like everyone else. So why do sh*tty bands like that make fun of the All-American middle class....I'll tell you, because the super-rich corporate bozos who control the music industry and Hollywood like to hire a**holes who make fun of talented middle-class All-Americans. Know why, to keep super-talented Ph.D.s like myself from taking over and running them outta business. That's why they hire dumb a**holes to blame the suburbs instead of the super-rich Hollywood hacks who control technology, publishing houses, and corporations and put out such stupid hack sh*t...big fat greedy corporations that hold back talented people. Guess what, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson and the like have big fat overpaid producers and often times studio musicians! Not to mention overdubs and as many as 64 tracks to work with. And their albums cost as much as $12 million bucks to produce, whereas indie music is often produced on shoestring budgets. So "Ben F*cks Five" we middle class indie artists have news for you, "F*ck off!"

And that's why we keep asking the question: Y R people messing with All-Americans!

Realists Protecting Idealists

One day I was sitting around and contemplating the "Real" World and what it was all about...It was then that I came up with the twin concepts of "Realists protecting Idealists," and "Realists hating Idealists (and vice versa)." Now Humanitarian Idealism is pretty simple, if everyone stopped killing and torturing one another then we would be forced to all "deal with each other." The only problem with this idealism is that it takes cooperation from everyone, or nearly everyone. Now idealism is admirable because it is to some extent the truth, but difficult to put into practice. As a result, over time, many idealists after being confronted by realists WHO HATE IDEALISTS, are forced into a position of pragmatism. People won't stop killing each other, so they say I have to be pragmatic and realistic and protect myself. I know the truth, but it is not practicable because it requires cooperation on a grand scale. Now these realists who were formerly idealists know the truth, if we all stopped killing then there would be peace--but people won't, so being realists we need to protect ourselves and advocate self-defense (even national defense). But being idealists turned realists, the new realists decide that we need to protect and preserve the idealists because they know the fundamental truth about HUMAN cooperation. Thus there is the creation of the phenomena "Realists protecting Idealists." We realists defend the country, family, and friends who are idealists and let them be idealists. Now we know as idealists, then will probably hate us for being such realists (about self-defense), but that is because they are idealists like we used to be, so we kinda understand. Some will get to live long lives as idealists and never have to become realists, while other's will give up their idealism in order to protect idealists. Now some realists don't like idealist and want to get rid of them, but that is because they don't understand the wisdom of idealism. But other realists who were former idealists do, and that is why we (idealists turned realists) protect idealists. Now mind you some people are fake idealists, like foreign spies and the like. They want us all to become peacnicks so we don't defend ourselves or the country when militaristic people and countries invade, but us idealists turned realists believe in self-defense and so we fight back, all the while trying to protect our greatest and wisest resource, the idealists. In this way Americans are different from other nations that seek to persecute and destroy its peace-loving idealists. A lot of us All-American realists love peace too, but being realists we know it is hard to make it practicable.

And that is why we keep asking ourselves the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans

Y R People Messing with American Culture?

I have been asking myself this question for a long time. Why are people messing with American culture. We All-Americans know that America is a melting pot. Growing up I had friends from all walks of life, white, African-American, women, gay people, Indians, Latinos, Italians, Jews, country people, city-slickers, etc. Our great cultural achievements come from our diversity, people from all different lands living together largely in harmony. I know there were problems with poverty, racism, and sexism, gay-bashing, etc. but a decent person could get by here and do well for themselves without setting off a New Age Civil War.

But then came the 21st century, and OH WELL, BAM! Evil Sh*T in our faces all over again. GET OUTTA MY FACE SATAN! In the late 20th century, during what I call the inter-war years, post Vietnam to the War on Terror, ME AND MY FRIENDS all got along. We listened to the greatest tunes of all time, rock, pop, jazz, Motown, country, soul, blues....a lot of songs mostly about making it in America and making love, and having fun. We had a social conscience too. Since the War on Terror things have changed, and sometimes it seems like everyone is channelling Satan. The love songs are screwed up, but people don't seem to care. The culture tampered with...do people still like baseball?! I can't tell. Don't people date and get married anymore. Why is everyone corrupting our "good" traditions and championing our "bad" habits. I can't figure it out....When did the Devil come out of his grave to try and take over America, the land of rock-n-roll, fertility, and true love. I say we say, BAH to Satan and send him back to Hell where he belongs! We All-Americans want romance and true love back.

And that is why we keep saying, Y R People Messing With All-Americans!

The Typo is Mightier than the Pen? Huh!?

It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword. But I will tell you something I learned the hard way, something brand new that is happening all over America and the world: A new phenomena known as "The Typo is Mightier Than the Pen!" Since the dawn of the digital revolution, it has been just too easy to tamper with people's freedom of speech and press. You bloggers know what I am talking about, the insertions of typos into your written and recorded works, thru, you guessed it, digital conversion. This has resulted in a process of sabotage, that has led to a weird phenomena, written and digital works being unintelligible to their own authors. I can just hear them saying it now, "Hey, that's not my article. I didn't write that. I ran the spell check. How'd that get in there." I'll tell you how, SABOTAGE!

That is why we keep asking ourselves the question, Y R People Messing with our Constitutional Rights? Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

What is an All-American?

I know you are wondering, why do I think that I am an All-American? What is an All-American anyways? Well, most people living in America have some elements of All-Americanism to them, but most of the concept of what constitutes an All-American revolves around our rights as citizens. According to the Constitution, we have a right to "life, liberty, and property." The US government and other people cannot legally deprive us of life, liberty, and property without due process of law. In addition, as citizens we have a right to speech, press, to assemble, and to bear arms. We also have freedom of religion. Sure America is a melting pot and there are people with all different kinds of opinions and religions, but those are the fundamental rights which make us All-Americans. I mean come on guys, what kind of a person believes in the rights of "death, slavery, and theft." Only murderers, slave masters, and thieves. And who believes in the rights to "shut-up, not write anything down, not assemble with our friends, not protect ourselves or are country by not bearing arms, and freedom to have no religion." Only the enemies of opinion, education, self-defense, and non-believers.

That is why we keep asking ourselves the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans.

You Call That News?

Ever asked yourself the question, what is up with 21st century news? I tell you ever since the dawn of 24 hour news and the fake news on Comedy Central, every newcaster (with the possible exception of Brian Williams) think they are some kind of comedian. Well, I got news for you guys and gals "YOU'RE NOT! GET IT INTO YOUR THICK SKULLS! WE NEED REAL NEWS NOT MORE COMEDY CENTRAL BULLSH*T" Now mind you I used to like the fake comedy news just as much as the next guy. I watched Chevy Chase, Kevin Nealon, and Dennis Miller on the SNL, just like everone else, but what is with Wolf Blitzer thinking he is funny....and what about these local Bozos who think they are GOD! I tell you this much, the only funny thing about Wolf Blitzer is the stupid Hollywood name. Right, Jessica Yellin (if that is your real name!). Now I'm the first to admit that Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert have talent, but if people are turning to them for the "Real" news, then they are in for one big surprise; THOSE SHOWS ARE BULLSH*T. And what is with the proliferation of these stupid stories that pass for infotainment. We All-Americans need real news. Real news about our local community, road construction, school levees, new local ordinances, financial news, international reports, and not these fakey human interest bull and bizarre-but-not so true crap. Frankly its all an insult to our intelligence! And what's with all the trash talk-talky-talk bull on CNN, FOX, and MSNBC. You call that intelligent conversation, more like slander and libel! Stop insulting our intelligence Hollywood.

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

What is With this New Age Homophobia?

When I was a kid, gay jokes were all the rage, but they didn't put that sh*t on TV. Know why, its offensive! Then the TV Execs used to watch what they said! Today, there is a new creeping fear mongering, New Age Homophobia. Well us All-Americans aren't going to be duped. Some of our greatest stars are gay, Elton John, Ellen, etc. Back in the Day there were even rumors that Rod "the Bod" Stewart, Mick Jagger, and David Bowie were gay. This was obviously an attempt by homophobes to get us to stop groovin to the Stones, Rod, and Bowie! Let alone Rock-N-Roll. It seems today that people are dusting off their gay jokes from the 1980s in a desperate attempt to turn the clock back to 1922. Yep, you guessed it, neo-Homophobe, Anti-Rock, Neo-Prohibitionist, prudish bullsh*t. Yeah, I'm not stupid. I know that military guys are hard a**es, and sometimes they think they are more bada*s then the rock-n-roller. But let me tell you something kiddies that they don't know.....Rock-N-Rolling takes Balls! This is not to put down our hard a** military dudes, some of them are our greatest rock-n-rollers. But if you kids think Rick Astley is rock-n-roll, you are crazy, that is pop music.. Now pop music has its place among All-Americans, but it is not the same as Rock-N-Roll. Rock-N-Roll kiddies used be an expression for Doing It...which was an expression for, well...you all get internet porn now so you know....but you don't know until you do it. So f*ck-off. Nib High School Football Rules! Industry that was a Revolution! And All-Americans believe in the American revolution...and aren't homophobes! We believe in sexual freedom!

That is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

Adopted Kids are All-Americans Too

I was hanging out with my college buddy one day, bitching about how rough things are sometimes. And he said, "Consider yourself lucky, You know who your REAL parents are." I said "What?" "Well, I never told you but I'm adopted, and I can't wait to meet my Real Parents." I stopped for a second and thought about what he was saying. I knew he was mad at his parents and been bitching about them. But I knew his parents and they were good people--All Americans. And so I said, "Those real parents you talk about are not your Real Parents. Your Real parents are one's who raised you, clothed you, kept you safe for 21 years, bought you that nice car, paid for college. The other ones, they are just your genetic parents. Maybe when you meet your genetic parents, they will be super-cool....but that might be because they didn't have to pay all your expenses growing up and deal with all your baby tantrums and high school problems. Your adopted parents are your real parents, and you know it." He stopped and thought for a second, and then turned and shook his head and said, "You're right." And then we drank a beer together. But all night long we kept talking about why people make it so difficult on adopted kids. You know, adopted kids are All-Americans too.

That when we asked the question, "Y R People Messing With All-Americans?"

All-Americans as Humanitarians

One thing alot of people don't know is that we All-Americans are often humanitarians. Humanitarian All-Americans are concerned for all humans, the future of humans, and the well-being of humans. But there is one problem with this. It's hard to be a humanitarian when so many of our fellow humans are not being human. It was hard in World War II for a humanitarian to be decent to Hitler, especially if Hitler was shipping them off to the Concentration Camps to be liquidated or worked to death. It's also hard to be humanitarian when non-humanitarians are shooting at you. The problem with being a humanitarian is and has always been the same, there are many selfish people who are downright unhuman to one another. It's hard to care for people when they are being buttheads to you, stealing your stuff, robbing you blind, torturing you, or trying to kill you. Non-humanitarians just don't get it. If we all stopped killing and torturing each other, then we would all be forced to get along with one another. The most uncivilized thing people do is torture and kill other people, but even worse than this, the torturers and the killers try to get us humanitarians to torture and kill others by provoking us. They even label us All-Americans the aggressor when we are simply and reluctantly trying to defend ourselves and our way of life. Shame on you Un-American Anti-humanitarians for exploiting and taking advantage of our civilized nature. Still we fight back when attacked, just like at the Boston Tea Party and Valley Forge. Why?! Because we don't take sh*t from no one! We are mainstream Americans. Why America has turned against the mainstream we don't know....and that is why...

we keep asking ourselves, "Why Are People Messing with All-Americans"

Why Do Bozo's Like Bullsh**ters?

Why do Bozo's in power love bullshi**ters? Have you ever wondered why there has been a proliferation of lies in the 21st century...me too. Some of it to be sure is war-time propaganda, but what is with the bullsh**ters who are going around suppressing talent? I personally am a very talented and highly educated person. I have a Ph.D., have published 3 books, and written many more (unpublished), have been a singer-songwriter and have appeared on over 21 indie music albums (as singer, keyboardist, producer, engineer, etc.). Still I am struggling financially. You know why, a proliferation of bullsh*t! It is true that I have had some health problems that hurt my career, but still 21 albums is 21 albums. I have even recorded with a grammy-winner, and still I am struggling financially. Why? My producer told me one time that hard work will get you close, but its the bullsh*t and the a**kissing that will put you over the top. Well, sorry, some of us All-Americans aren't big giant a**kissers or bullsh*ters. If All-Americans had been like that in 1776, we would have lost the revolutionary war. A**kissing is a detestable trait we obviously picked up from a failed British Empire. We All-Americans are tired of being bullsh*ted, by biased politicians, corporations, and the Hollywood establishment. Long live the TRUTH--Quit trying to deceive your own people Un-Americans! It used to be that professional comedians like the Three Stooges made fun of two-bit dictators like Hitler and Mussolini, now so-called American comedians defend losers like Iran's Ahmadinejad and their rigged elections. Jon Stewart, whose side are you on? Jon calls himself a Jewish-American comedian but all he does is rag on Americans, and makes fun of the state of Israel. If he were living in England during World War II, he'd be a fan of Hitler and Vichy France. The problem as I see it started with all of Jon's Messopatamia bull, declaring a war lost before it even began. Don't kid yourselves kiddies, the USA kicked the butt of Iraq's conventional forces back in 2003-2004. The problem over there has been the occupation, and how to deal with two-bit dictators like Ahmadinejad after the US packs its bags and leaves. Give us a break Viacom, Sumner Redstone, Jon Stewart, and Steven Colbert, the US already won the war in Iraq. Now its just a question of what to do about two-bit would be dictators with Imperial designs like those in Iran. Quit suppressing indigenous talent while supporting foreign governments. We All-Americans love America first, and our allies in the world second. Quit blocking and alienating us Hollywood.


That is why we keep asking ourselves, "Y R People Messing With All-Americans?"

What's Up With Ellen?

Can anyone tell me what is up with Ellen Degeneres? Has she gone bonkers, is a screw loose, what?! We All-Americans know the truth, Ellen is one of our most talented female comedians, but what is with all the hetero-bashing? Now we all know that Ellen is gay and that she has a lesbian wife. Most of us don't really care about that; we know that there are gay All-Americans. A friend of mine from college was gay, and he was the kinda guy who I know would've liked the Ellen Show, that is, if it were not for all the hetero-bashing. Back in college, me and my friend had an agreement, I would not try to turn him straight by setting him up with hot babes, and he wouldn't try to turn me gay. For the duration of our friendship we stuck to this, and as a result we got along great. I was dating a hot brunette at the time and she loved my buddy, but she was the same as us, she didn't try an convert the guy...just be a good friend instead. Back in the Day, we were fond of telling this story to bigots: Once upon a time in a strange and foreign land, an old prudish woman took her gay son to a shrink...the shrink's name, Sigmund Freud. She said to Freud that she wanted help converting him to straightness. Freud, being a pragmatist and realist replied (and I'm paraphrasing), it is not really the job of psychoanalysts to convert people from being gay to straight...what psychoanalysts are supposed to do is help people in society cope with who they are and to be happy in society. If the kid is gay and unhappy being gay and wants to be straight then he could convert, but if he likes himself as gay, then it is not really his hang-up, but rather society's hang-up. Little word to Ellen and New Age Hollywood, we won't convert you if you don't covert us. We won't condemn you for being gay if you don't condemn us for being hetero! I hate to tell Ellen and the Hollywood establishment, but most people in America are straight and like it that way. Most of them don't hate gay people....

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing With All-Americans

What's Up With New Age Feminists?

Sometimes I sit around asking the question, "What is up with New Age Feminists?" You are probably asking the question why I would broach such a sensitive topic. Well frankly, I am fed up with stupidity. OK, I'll tell you what I mean and then you can decide if you agree. In the morning I go to my home office and I put on the TV, often times stopping at FOX News. And what do I see? Some of the hottest babes on TV, mostly blonde, but some brunettes, and an occasional African-American babe. Now many of these women express Republican-versions of feminist values while simultaneously flashing those great gams of theirs. Now in other countries, things are different...Not everybody knows this but in Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries women are discouraged or banned from driving cars or flashing their gams. Now this is not Saudi Arabia or anything, so Republican-feminist women can drive cars and where short skirts. That is freedom baby! But, if a bunch of misogynists at FOX are forcing them to wear short skirts and act like sex-pots, that is different. That would be sexism! Now I don't know how many of you have majored in political science at college or anything, but I got news for you, most of the feminist political animals at college don't look like those hot babes on FOX. In fact most are the bra-burning, baggy sweat-shirt type. Knowing this, I sometimes sit around and wonder "Are the Australians trying to dupe me?" We all know that Australians like hot blonde babes; we all saw "Crocodile Dundee" and listened to "Men at Work" growing up. Like they say: it is the land down under, where the women glow and men do thunder....and we all know that the Austrailian billionaire Rupert Murdoch owns FOX News. Then I ask myself, am I watching American TV or Australian state-run TV? Sure the babes are hot, but are they really feminists, or are they subservient to Hannity? Now I don't know what people reading this blog know about most Republican babes, but many of them don't like to party; they like to look hot, and you can look but not touch...it is usually Democratic-feminist chicks who like to get down and boogie---remember Woodstock! You know what I am talking about! Now some Republican chicks know what I am talking about, they like to meet cute guys, get married, and have kids too.
Now some people think I'm crazy but stay with me for a second. The bikini is a symbol of freedom in America...know why? Because in countries like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, they require women to be covered head to toe so men can't see how beautiful they are; prevent them from driving cars, and ban, of all things, the bikini. Some even believe in "purdah" (the confinement of women) so other men can't see them. Now I am not saying that just cause a women dawns a bikini that makes her a feminist, it doesn't. But that option is there, and us All-Americans guys love it...Doesn't anybody remember the Beach Boys anymore? Now back in the 70's alot of feminists burned their bras because they saw them as a form of oppression, but they got it all wrong. That is not oppression, that is back support, that is unless you are required to wear them by law or socially ostracized for not wearing them. Other women who got upset about women not wearing bras, well they were prudes. Don't confuse prudishness with feminism. Prudishness is often times anti-feminist, and...don't tell anyone....anti-freedom! So is Man-hating; real feminists don't hate all men! That is sexism---sexism that leads to Lemnian deeds. Now us All-American guys don't have to worry about this stuff that much. When we want to go to the beach or lay out, we just take off our shirt and dawn some shorts or swim-trunks. We don't stress if the babes are watching us on the beach, we want them to, that's how we meet girls and believe it or not....sometimes get married and even have kids! But some people out there have come along and are trying to confuse us all. To act like we are anti-feminist because we love hot babes in bikinis.

And that is why we keep asking the question: Y R People Messing with All-Americans

Pine Cones Stink, Huh?!

I was talking to a friend of mine and he was sniffing a children's sniff-and-smell book. He's like that sometimes--raising kids and all. When he got done from his crazy ride he said, "You know, pine cones stink." I kinda turned my head and coughed (just like in the doctor's office when the perv grabs your N*TS) and blinked my eyes. "Really," I replied "If that's the case, then why do they sell Pinesoll!." He looked baffled, as usual, and kinda twisted his head like Andre the Giant from professional wrestling. "Are you serious?" He said. "Of course, are you doubting the power of Pinesoll, Motherf***er!" He smiled like a f*cked-up Billy Chrystal (the comedian--not the neo-con talking head on FOX). "What's you're point?" Knowing me, he knew I always had a point. "They don't sell Pinesoll because it stinks. Think about it. They sell it because people like the smell of it in their house....It smells clean and fresh...people--All-Americans--like stuff that smells good..." then I paused "You know why?" "Why?" he replied. "Because they live in the real world and rely on their 5 senses, they don't let Hollywood tell them what to think. Oh sure, I know what you are thinking" I said rolling my eyes "there are commercials for Pinesoll, but I got news for you motherf***er, if pine cones stunk Pinesoll would be outta business! It's the same with Coca Cola, if that stuff tasted like crap nobody would buy it!"

It is the same way with entertainment. Recently some chick I knew was going around proselytizing for the show "30 Rock." Now I have never seen 30 Rock before, only the commercials, but I got news for her, if the show totally s*cked then it would be cancelled, unless of course it was on the O-network. What am I talking about you ask, huh? Well it's real simple, us All-Americans like good entertainment, not propagandist bullsh*t, and we don't like our favorite shows and entertainment to stink! We have five senses (at least) and intend to use them to interpret reality. Don't pull any bull on us, we're from the REAL WORLD! Popular entertainment is not supposed to be a con-job on All-Americans, any more than products from the grocery store...like Pinesoll or Coca Cola! We All-Americans believe in QUALITY CONTROL!

That's why we keep asking the question, "Y R People Messing With All-Americans"

Y R People Messing with their #1 Fans?

I have been asking myself this question for a long time, "Why are people messing with their #1 Fan?" It is altogether baffling to me. I sometimes refer to it in my lectures as messing with your target audience, the All-Americans. I just don't get it. Speaking as an artist with 21 albums under my belt, I know the truth. I bend over backwards for my fans. Hey, that's just the way I am, always doing my best to keep my adherents happy, and trying to win over those with objections. Still, sometimes it seem that those in the popular media are doing everything they can to alienate those who love them...Why? I just don't get it....who is trying to get us All-Americans to detest our favorite stars, artists, politicians, heroes, and celebrities. Is it the Australian government, the Canadian government, the Iranian government, the Israeli government, the Russian government, the Chinese government....who? And WHY? We All-Americans love our All-American heroes. We know the truth, they come from all walks of life---rich, poor, black, white, Jewish, Russian, Men, Women, Latino, Asian, Northern, Southern, Eastern, Western, etc. Well we All-Americans won't be duped by foreign influences; we love our indigenous talent pool--the best in the world. The one thing we have in common is that we are All-American, and America is the greatest melting pot of talent in the world...so we won't back down or give up on America. We know that there are economic and social problems right now, but we won't turn against our target audience---All-Americans of all stripes and colors. The one thing we all have in common---love of America. The truth is that Americans know America best and we can't allow ourselves to be fooled by low grade propaganda coming from other lands. We All-Americans know that there are problems in the world and we have compassion for people of other lands; we know other people around the globe have talent; but often times their talent is suppressed by repressive governments preaching propaganda about a better way. So for those Un-Americans who have decided to turn against your All-American fans, shame on you!

That is why we keep asking, "Y R People Messing wtih All-Americans?"

All-American Media?

Often times I sit around asking myself, "What is the deal with the American Media?" What's with all the monopolization. Today we have more channels on TV than we ever did, but it seems like the number of choices for something good on TV are rapidly dwindling. And what is America's obsession with Australia. Now I am no dummy, I know that 20th Century Fox and News Corp is owned by Rupert Murdoch, an Australian billionaire who emigrated to America and invested in our media. In fact, he had to become an American citizen to be able to purchase 20th Century Fox, that is US law. But sometimes I wonder, Am I watching American TV or Australian TV? This seems to especially be the case when I watch FOX News. Yes, I know, alot of Americans work for FOX, but really people, I ask the question, "Are they acting like All-Americans" or just imitating an Australian immigrant. Now I know it is not required by law that people act like All-Americans or anything, but what is with this worship of foreign countries over our own. Worship of Moscow, Tehran, Beijing, Jerusalem, Paris, London, Toronto, Tokyo, you name it. You know what I am talking about, the inundation of foreign ideas into our country from foreign sources, some friendly, some not so friendly, some who are pretending to be friendly. And what is with the contempt for US traditions and law. But it's not just FOX, other outlets like Viacom and their Comedy Central are like that too. What does Hollywood think, that its got a copyright on what it means to be an American. Hey I know celebrities are Americans too, but we live here too. Do rich people think they have a copyright on America...well they don't you know. Call me crazy but I think that people who have lived their whole life in America know a little more about America than those who have recently come over on the boat. Now I have nothing against people wanting to emigrate here or anything, in fact I welcome it, but they should try to be real immigrants who want to be real Americans. And real Americans believe in the Constitution, a Constitution that says people and the government don't have a right to take away people's life, liberty, and property without DUE process of law. A Constitution that protects freedom of speech and press, not just for the rich but for every citizen. Without a Constitution, America is just another piece of dirt you know.

And that is why we keep asking, Why Are People Messing with All-Americans?

You Know You're Getting Old When...

Boy times sure have changed...how many times have you heard that one. I never thought I would be saying that, but it is the ugly truth. I hate being old, but let's face it, the kids don't understand how the world works. You can't really blame the kids, especially mainstream kids, most of them have it pretty good, and if not, they are getting by. But kids don't get it. They think that when they live in their parents house that it is their house and they own it, almost as if they got paid to go to school. What mainstream kids don't understand is that it is probably only going to be their house for 18 years. That is unless they go to college for another four years. From then on out you are basically on your own, that is unless you get disabled and can't work and have to live with family. And even then, your situation is precarious, because you normally have to find a place to live and pay the rent...that is the real world. Kid's don't get it; they think school is work. Well if it is, most kids don't get paid to go to school. It is required of them by law. They should consider themselves lucky if they get an allowance or are rewarded for good grades. Now this doesn't mean that school is a waste of time, most times it isn't and kids learn alot of important skills from school, but in the real world we say "sh*t" happens. So study hard kids, one day you'll have to pay for the food, rent, mortgage, clothing, and transportation for you and your family. And the only way you'll get out of it, is if you inherit a bunch of stuff, or hit the big time...mark my words, most people don't. Just a word to all you adolescent members of the Colbert Nation, most people don't get their own comedy show on Comedy Central, and most kids don't get to be on the Saturday Night Live, or tour with John Mayer. Most have to settle into normal careers and jobs. And psst...in case you are wondering, working at the gas station is NOT a good job!Working America is the core of America and All-Americans. Disabled Americans are All-Americans too, but alot of them are disabled because of years of hard work...not school. That is the real reason why we have Federal Disability programs in America. Psst...little secret...disability money is money that disabled people earned years ago that was held by the government for them for just such an emergency. Still most disabled All-Americans want to go back to work, but some times people can make this seem downright impossible.

That's why we keep asking ourselves the question, Why Are People Messing with All-Americans?

Y R People Messing with All-Americans?

It used to be in America that we had two great loves, Mom and Apple Pie. It seems sometimes that we still love mom, but why is everyone messing with Apple Pie? I made this point to an acquaintance of mine, and he retorted "It's because apple pie stinks." "What?! Apple pie doesn't stink" I retorted "Apple pie has a wonderful aroma and is delicious!" He laughed, and then I said "Don't you get it man, you are apple pie." At that point he nearly froze and looked shocked. "I'm not apple pie" he said. "Well that would explain why you hate apple pie, us Americans love apple pie! Sometimes we even call it "American Pie" you pie f*cker!" He laughed but there was an unsettling look in his eye, like he felt stupid or guilty or something. You see he finally understood what I was talking about, there are too many "pie f*ckers" running around messing with America and All-Americans.

We Americans love apples, eat them all the time. It was for this reason that Johnny Appleseed travelled the country dropping apple seeds all over God's creation. When I was a kid, we even had an apple tree in the back yard, and we turned those apples off that tree into delicious apple pie. Today the kids don't like apple pie, they like video games from foreign countries, swiss chocolate, foreign cars, cheap foreign consumer goods, cafe mocha lattes, and pie f*ckers! Just a word to you kiddies out there, apple pie is for eating not sticking your thingy in...psst that is just a movie!

You're probably wondering what set off all this rage in me. Well its simple, everywhere I turn I see people messing with All-Americans and All-American apple pie. We Americans are known for having a good sense of humor. Shadefruende sadism---well that's for Nazis! Today America is besieged, besieged by itself. Part of the problem began with the 21st century when a bunch of nut-jobs with too much time on their hands started mocking American traditions, like the Constitution, beer drinking, and butt-kickin, and started sicking the bible belt on all of us to get us to give up freedom of speech, press, religion in the name of their version of events and denomination. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind religious people trying to reason with me, or anything, or to win me over to their religion, but let's face it, not everybody can be right. And besides people travel here from all over the globe to escape religious persecution.

If that weren't bad enough, we have a band of New Age comedians, so fearful of being sent into the fires of perdition by fundamentalist Christians or a resurrected Christ that they attack everything from church on Sunday, synagogue, and Christian and Jewish heroes like Jesus and Elijah. Now don't get me wrong, they have freedom of speech too, but so do us All-Americans, and some of us are sick and tired of getting hit by the bible thumpers on the right and the atheists on the left. So we have decided to fight back. We are tired of the fringe labeling us fringe when we are really main stream, wedged between radical bible-belters on the right and the atheist rich-boy politburo members on the left. We are mainstream and we are proud of it....we are All-American. We are straight, gay, white, black, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Asian, male, female, you name it! But we are the core of the real America, not Hollywood elites, Giant Corporations, or a**holes. Most of us work for a living and if we don't, we're trying to find a job or start our own business. Some of us are doing OK, but many of us are struggling.

That's why we keep asking the question, Why Are People Messing with All-Americans?